


redamancy

by stardustgirl



Series: Rebels Oneshots [38]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, Star Wars: Rebels, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: (well kind of), Academy Era, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - After College/University, Alternate Universe - Bar/Pub, Alternate Universe - Bounty Hunters, Alternate Universe - Childhood Friends, Alternate Universe - Daycare, Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Alternate Universe - Neighbors, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Alternate Universe - Star Wars Setting, Angst, Angst and Romance, Angst with a Happy Ending, Attempted Sexual Assault, Awkward Flirting, Awkward Romance, Basically This Thing Is All Of Your Kanera Needs, Betrayal, Blind Date, Bounty Hunters, But Also !!, But Seriously It's, Canonical Character Death, Childhood Friends, Childhood Memories, Childhood Sweethearts, Daddy Issues, Dark!Kanan, Daycare, Drinking, Drinking & Talking, Drinking to Cope, Eventual Romance, Execution, F/M, False Memories, Father-Daughter Relationship, First Dates, First Kiss, First Order, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Force-Sensitive Hera, Happy Ending, Heavy Angst, Hera Syndulla Needs A Hug, Hurt No Comfort, Imperial AU, Inquisitor!Kanan, Jedi Academy AU, Jedi Temple, Jedi!Hera, Kanan Jarrus Needs a Hug, Kanan Jarrus-centric, Kissing, Loth-cats, Lothal, MET - Freeform, Maz’s Castle, Mechanics, Memory Related, Neighbors, Not Happy, Old Republic Era, Partner Betrayal, Pollution - Freeform, Pre-Star Wars: The Clone Wars, Romance, Royalty, Secret Relationship, Smuggler AU, Smuggling, Soulmate AU, Tragic Romance, Unknown Space, Xenophobia, explorer - Freeform, very angsty
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-19
Updated: 2019-09-04
Packaged: 2019-10-12 11:45:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 19
Words: 4,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17466968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stardustgirl/pseuds/stardustgirl
Summary: redamancy, n. the act of loving in return|~~~|(Or, a collection of Kanera AU drabbles of a million times it never worked out and the few times it did.)i. old republic era jediii. imperial stormtrooperiii. smuggler with janus kasmiriv. imperial academy graduatev. order 66 survivorvi. childhood friends on lothalvii. old republic era jedi (part two)viii. freighter pilotix. student at luke's academyx. blind datexi. xenophobiaxii. bounty hunterxiii. mechanicxiv. explorerxv. daycarexvi. old republic era jedi (part three)xvii. soulmatesxviii. royaltyxix. ryloth





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I apologize in advance.
> 
> (For both the angst and the lack of capitalization.)

**i.**

 

he’s a jedi, most of the time, including now when he’s with his master as they prepare to free a group of hostages from a slaver ship. until there’s an explosion, and the ship collapses in on itself as a shuttle and a couple escape pods flee it. when his master answers the comm, the one from the shuttle that hailed them after exiting the fated ship, a strong voice proclaims that several of them need medical attention. there’s an offer to dock with their own ship accepted, and he goes with his master to greet the escapees as they disembark and separate swiftly into several groups. his master shoots him a look, silently commenting on how organized they are, and he agrees, until the apparent leader of the group finally comes over.

“we don’t need your pity or your charity,” she announces with a thick accent, lekku twitching slightly. as he studies her, he realizes she can’t even be his own age, and he’s just barely eighteen cycles himself. “but we will thank you for your assistance in healing those of us who weren’t as lucky when we escaped. may i have your names?”

his master introduces herself, and then turns, introducing him: “and this is my padawan learner, caleb dume.”

he nods, mumbling a greeting of his own as the girl’s lekku relax slightly as she introduces those around her, and then finally herself.

“i am hera syndulla.”

he never sees her again in this one.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check the tags for triggers.

**ii .**

 

one time, he’s a stormtrooper, and completely unaware of his sensitivity (it’s not as strong in this one, either). he’s assigned, with his squad, to ryloth, to quell the rising resistance.

it’s five years after the war, and he joined up with the empire as soon as he hit eighteen. and now he’s here, with the other near-washouts, on a planet with people who could care less about his life.

which is why he surprises himself when, the day after they’ve driven the syndulla clan out of their family home, his attention is drawn by a shout and he follows it to a stomach-clenching sight.

there’s two other ‘troopers from his squadron, both helmeted so he can’t identify them without hearing their voices, and a green twi’lek woman who looks barely over eighteen. she’s yelling at them in twi’leki before switching to basic, cursing them as one shoves her against the wall and pins her arms behind her back.

“hey!”

he’s almost surprised that they turn at his voice. he’s not the squad leader, in fact he’s far from it. but maybe that’s exactly  _ why _ they turn.

“kriff off, kid,” one calls back, beginning to turn back to the girl. he swallows, taking another step forward.

“leave her alone.” he puts a hand on his blaster in a manner that he hopes is threatening, but by the way the other two ‘troopers laugh, he knows it doesn’t work.

“or what, kid?” the other man laughs and takes a step closer. “what’re you gonna do? shoot me?”

he watches both ‘troopers carefully, glad his helmet’s off so they can see his glare. he draws his blaster fully, removing the safety and cocking it so they can see he’s serious.

“yeah.”

one of the ‘troopers, the one still by the girl, shifts his grip on her wrists. she yells again and kicks out, and within half a second her assailant has his blaster out, safety off and cocked, and has shot her point blank in the head.

he fires.

a third shot, and he falls.

* * *

the incident report filed several hours later doesn’t mention the girl at all, only that ‘trooper jd-0891, otherwise known as “caleb dume,” fired without cause upon a fellow squadmate, the result of which was fatal. he was taken out, but due to the nature of the situation, he was unable to be spared for further questioning. it was suspected that he was a rebel sleeper agent. no questions were asked, and no family was found.

hera syndulla, on the other hand, was avenged violently and repeatedly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that was one of the angstier ones...I have a few lighter ones coming to make up for it though....


	3. Chapter 3

**iii .**

 

one time, he’s a smuggler with janus kasmir, only he _stays_ with janus kasmir. he keeps drinking at rundown bars and sleeping with questionable girls, still and always running running running from the past that killed him (kanan-once-caleb). if janus knows of his habits, he doesn’t care, because by the time caleb-now-kanan risks drinking in front of him he’s well over eighteen and well beyond the kalleran’s discretion when it comes to what he should do with his life.

it’s when his partner is meeting with someone about their next job at a rundown bar that he meets the girl. she’s eavesdropping on janus kasmir’s conversation, which puts caleb-now-kanan on edge immediately. he confronts her, taking her outside the bar and questioning her as to why. she can’t be over twenty, he realizes, but caleb-now-kanan is too drunk to care as he threatens her away from nosing into their business again with a blaster waved hasphazardly. she folds her arms, lekku arched stiffly towards her back, and argues back, until he (mistakenly) fires a warning shot at the ground by the wall several meters from them. huffing, she finally assents, and he forgets all about it when he’s hungover the next day.

when it’s announced that hera syndulla and her insurgent crew of three have been captured over some outer rim planet (caleb-now-kanan can only remember it starts with an “l”) after attempting to infiltrate a star destroyer to rescue their fifth member, caleb-now-kanan just pops another bottle.

“long live the kriffing empire,” he mutters sarcastically, and drinks to hopelessness (he dies in a job-that-was-actually-a-set-up several months later).


	4. Chapter 4

**iv .**

 

she meets him at a bar this time, a decidedly unaligned one (but it’s imperial enough to pass his commanding officer’s standard, apparently), one dry night when the air is seemingly absent outside. this level of coruscant’s dry normally, though he hasn’t been here before, only to the levels above. but he needs a distraction, something to take him away from the unavoidable threat looming over his head. and so he goes to a bar, and there he meets a twi’lek woman a few years younger than him who goes by the name hera.

she doesn’t offer a last name, so neither does he. they sit at the bar in silence, several seats apart, and after realizing they’re the only ones up there, she moves down to him.

“hera,” she says quietly but firmly when he raises an eyebrow in her direction. “and you are?”

“caleb,” he answers, knocking another shot back.

“mm.” she watches him in silence before nursing her own drink slowly. “you have a reason you’re here? some victory, or something, i mean.”

his brow shoots up higher. “what?”

“your posture’s too straight to be anything but a soldier. no civilian would sit like that,” she explains hurriedly.

“that obvious, huh?” he smiles tightly, sipping his drink again. “well, i guess you could consider it a victory.”

her lekku twitch in surprise. “what do you mean by that?”

“ah, nothing.” he stares down at his drink again, swallowing the urge to suddenly yell out everything that’s bothering him about tomorrow.

they talk for a couple of hours, and then she’s realizing how late it is and explaining that she needs to get back to her friend’s.

“i can walk you to a taxi?” he offers. she hesitates before nodding, though she stays out of arm’s reach of him as they walk. he doesn’t mind.

when they reach the edge, she glances up at him. “could i have your comm channel? in- in case we want to do this again,” she adds quickly, gesturing to the bar behind them. he can’t read her expression in the half-light, but he turns away slightly, voice quiet and gaze down as he responds.

“i’m...heading out tomorrow. outpost on jalindi. won’t be back for five, maybe six years.”

“oh.”

they stand in silence, and he’s awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck when the lights of an air taxi appear, swiftly rounding the corner of a building a few hundred meters down. he clears his throat, glancing at her to see her rubbing her arms.

“don’t wanna be late,” he says softly. “don’t wanna keep your friend waiting.” she hesitates before nodding, turning to wave the taxi down. as she moves to get in, he hands her his coat. she furrows her tattooed-on brow as she glances back at him, and he shrugs. “you looked cold.”

she nods slowly, whispers “bye,” and gets in. he watches until she’s gone.

caleb flies out the next day, and a few months later hera joins the rebellion.

(she’s the one who orders the spike placed on the jalindi dish thanks to a suggestion from the base’s resident weapons expert four years later, but she isn’t the one who’s there when the mission goes south and they have to just destroy the dish and the ship come to survey it.)

(he’s the one who  _ is _ there, however, when a group of rebels destroy the dish, and he’s the one on the ship sent to survey the life signatures registered, and he’s the one on the ship when it explodes.)

(he and hera are none the wiser.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry


	5. Chapter 5

**v .**

 

he was a jedi, once, a long long time ago, but still a padawan when the order fell—so he’s been kanan instead of caleb for a while now.

he’s been surviving on his own for a while now, too.

but he’s at a maglev platform on some outer rim planet so insignificant he’s already forgotten the name of it, and he sees something that throws him back into the past, and suddenly he’s not breathing while his master dies again and a _gain—_

“are you all right?”

he glances up, blinking; he’s on the ground. green lekku hang down, framing a young twi’lek woman’s face looking down at him with concern.

“are you all right?” she repeats.

“ye- yeah,” he mumbles, trying to get to his feet.

“i’m hera,” she says, offering a hand that seems both an introduction and an offer to help. he eyes it carefully before studying her again, weighing his options.

“kanan,” he says, and takes it.

(in this one, they live far after the war’s over, and it works; they’re happy.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Figured if I owed everyone following Start Making Fires an update I owed you guys one too, since I'm supposed to update this one every other day. But oh well. Have a happy one for once.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Decapitation

**vi .**

 

this time, caleb and hera are neighbors (they’ve always been, ever since they were young and a motherless hera with a broken father moved into the house next door to the boy with the pretty eyes on lothal). they grow up exploring the grasslands together, and of course caleb uses hera’s new (to the both of them, broken down and “repurposed” to everyone else) droid as an excuse to go over to her house more, and she in turn claims that the reason she’s spending hours there every day even in her mid teens is because of the pregnant loth-cat he found a few weeks ago that just gave birth to too many kittens for one boy to take care of.

the empire comes to lothal a few months after he turns seventeen and she turns fifteen (they’re closer in age, here). he signs up for the academy. the night he leaves, he comes to her house and gives her the loth-cat and the two kittens he kept, says he knows she’ll take good care of them until he comes back (because of course he’s coming back, they can’t allow themselves to believe anything else; war is still just a game that they don’t quite understand yet).

he comes back three and a half months later, throws rocks at her window until she opens up. he tells her he’s leaving lothal; he’s running from the academy; he’s found out what war is and he doesn’t like it. she says okay, fine, and he asks her to watch the loth-cats a little longer, just until he can come back again.

years pass, and she meets ryder azadi, meets the bridgers. none of them know what happened to caleb, but it’s okay, because she just _knows_ that he’s still alive.

one weekend, a few years later, a massive star destroyer enters orbit. hera’s the only one left of their little group (the bridgers disappeared, and shortly after ryder did as well), but she promised him she would stay on lothal, so she has. the next day, there’s a mandatory event in the town center. she and her father, along with caleb’s parents (they never found out what happened to him, or if they did they’ve sure done a good job of hiding it), head to it.

hera has to cover her mouth to keep from screaming as the bridgers and ryder are brought out and decapitated with a crimson laser sword by a masked figure in black. she can see his eyes through slits in the face covering; they’re a sickly gold that remind her of the first time she and caleb found an oil spill in one of the rivers. the eyes meet hers through the mask and seem to almost soften; she finds she can’t look away (she vomits once she’s home).

there’s a knock on her door one night, and instantly the trio of loth-cats are up and hissing, hackles raised as her droid beeps curiously. she approaches the door, hesitating. she asks who it is.

the voice that orders her to open in the name of the empire is vaguely familiar, but over the loth-cats’ yowling she can’t recognize who it belongs to. she opens it to find the masked executioner from the town, and he sweeps in without a word, approaches the loth-cats. they back up, hissing savagely, and the mother goes so far as to swipe at him. he only chuckles quietly.

she asks him why he’s there, lekku twitching in uncertainty. he turns to her, and she somehow knows he’s raising a brow as he takes three slow steps toward her. she falters, takes a half step back.

he removes the mask.

the eyes are the wrong color; the scars on his face are new. she raises a hand, tears brimming, but he catches her wrist, gently, just before she can touch him.

the door’s still open, and through it, she hears an order, hears it distantly as if she’s underwater.

he hesitates; he can’t do it.

in the end, she doesn’t really know where the blade that enters her back comes from, only that it steals her breath as she collapses, gasping for her life. his arms raise her up, and for just a moment, she thinks she recognizes him again.

(that night, they both die.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oopssss
> 
> but this was a fun one :))


	7. Chapter 7

**vii .**

 

jedi aren’t allowed to love, caleb knows that, but this time, he doesn’t care. he doesn’t care as he knows he loves depa, knows he loves depa like he does when she’s bleeding out in his arms from blaster wounds, knows he loves depa as he goes against the jedi way and takes revenge on the pirates that ended her life and would’ve done worse to him if he hadn’t.

he doesn’t care as he knows he loves hera, knows he loves hera like he does when he’s kissing her for the first time in the dim before the dawn of the first day she’s a knight behind one of the pillars in the temple, knows he loves hera as he leaves the order for her and she for him (he only realizes what true compassion is when he leaves, when he realizes how much she means to him, when he sees their child for the first time and knows that he’ll have the power to protect at least two of them from the same kind of death his master had).

(jedi aren’t allowed to love. but caleb and hera aren’t jedi any longer, and so they do.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My beta gave me “Old Republic-y” for a prompt for this one when I asked her, so here you go. I actually really liked writing it; parallel structure’s always fun to play around with. Plus Kanera!!


	8. Chapter 8

**viii .**

 

he’s just a part-time (legal) cargo hauler, part-time mercenary, part-time smuggler who’s calling himself kanan and has been at maz’s castle a few weeks too long when the twi’lek pilot and her band of freedom fighters come in to recruit him.

she’s calling herself hera, and she says they need beings of all kinds (which apparently includes drunk freighter pilots) to fight against the oppressive cloak of darkness the first order is supposedly spreading across the galaxy.

he ignores her speech about honor and nobility and freedom, takes another shot, nods and mumbles what might be an agreement to meet her the following day at a specified set of coordinates if he’s still interested, comms the channel listed on the first order holograms, and picks up his reward two days later.

he takes another hauling job the day after that, several thousand credits richer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My beta suggested trying a couple sequel trilogy ones, so *shrugs* here you go.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Implied Child Death

**ix .**

 

caleb meets her when she and her father are dropping her younger brother off at the academy. he’s twelve at the time; she’s ten. her brother can’t be more than three, and his lekku are still too short to be able to communicate well. she introduces herself as hera, tells him bye, says she might see him again if she ever comes to visit her brother. he tries to tell her that master luke doesn’t allow visitors, but she doesn’t hear him.

hera’s forgotten all about caleb when she hears the news of the academy’s destruction; her thoughts are only on her brother.

caleb’s thoughts are only on survival.  _ were _ only on survival.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is un-proofread, so read at your own risk.

**x .**

 

“listen, you’ll like him, i promise,” numa says rapidly into hera’s ear cone, her tone eager as she guides the blindfolded woman forward, nudging her toward the door. “i promise.”

hera fumbles for it blindly, opens it, hears a voice.  
“hey.”

“uh, hi,” she says uncertainly. “are you--?”

“yeah, yeah, here.” he takes a step toward her, takes her hand and leads her forward. his palm is calloused, and he smells like ship oil and engine grease, similar to how numa always tells her she smells. he places a light hand on her back as they stop, guides her into a chair, and there’s silence for a moment. finally, he tells her to take the blindfold off.

she does, swallowing as she blinks up at him. he’s across a small table from her, eyes unreadable as he studies her and her him.

finally she clears her throat, shifts awkwardly in her seat. “i’m hera.”

“kanan,” he offers, and she nods. silence falls again.

he clears his throat, blinking as he speaks again. “so what was the name of the person on your end who set this up? neera?”

“numa,” hera corrects automatically. “you?”

“grey. he’s kind of like my brother, but not exactly, like--”

she cuts him off as he rubs the back of his neck, face darkening as he tries to explain. “yeah, numa’s kind of a sister to me, too. despite that, she refused to tell me anything about you.” he meets her gaze again, brow raised. “so what do you do for a living?”

“i, um, run shipments.”

“so you pilot?”

“yeah. you?”

“me too,” she admits with a slight smile. “what model?”

“yt-1000,” he answers with a smile. “most of the time. you?”

“vcx-100,” she responds, eyes sparkling as she grins.

* * *

the rest of the evening goes well. they make plans to meet up again, and they do, several times. on their fourteenth date (she’s been counting), hera tells him of her involvement in the rebellion while he’s giving her a chance to fly his freighter, and invites him to join. he tells her he’ll have to think about it, and she doesn’t see him the next day. or the one after that.

three days after their last date, numa hears whispers of a raid, of an inquisitorial sleeper agent acting against the cell she and hera are a part of.

it’s only then that she realizes she hasn’t seen hera, or the man she had been dating.

(the execution is televised on the holonet; numa watches only long enough to confirm her suspicions before turning it off; the cell finally manages to kill the sleeper agent four years later; numa still feels uneasy.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Blind date" was yet another beta-submitted prompt that I somehow still managed to turn angsty :)


	11. Chapter 11

**xi .**

 

her father has always told her to be wary of humans, particularly human men, that they would use her and break her and destroy her. but from the moment she meets kanan, she knows he is different.

hera doesn’t learn his real name for several years, not for three and a half years after he’s been on her ship and two and a half more since she met him. she’s hurt at first, hurt that he kept this from her, but she comes around in time. all the while, her father’s words echo in her mind, even though she’s never seen kanan or caleb—it doesn’t matter what he’s called, it only matters that she’s feeling _something_ whenever she looks over at him now—be disrespectful toward anyone who didn’t deserve it, least of all her.

because of this, it’s only after the ship is already full to the brim with a droid and a warrior and a defector and an orphan that she dares to finally, finally ask him to kiss her.

(she knows he’s been waiting, could always see it in his eyes whenever she caught him looking, knows he’s too anxious even as he hides it to ask, wants to wait for her to make the first move.)

(and when he does, it’s with soft eyes and soft lips and soft hands that make her wonder why she ever waited in the first place.)

(and for the first time, she knows they’ll be okay, together.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valentine's Day!
> 
>  
> 
> (Another prompt from my beta, "Hera overcoming xenophobia.")


	12. Chapter 12

**xii .**

 

“kanan jarrus” is a household name in the outer rim at this point, because no one really wants to gain the attention of either the empire or its hired hound.

neither are pleasant.

more unpleasant, however, is when you and your crew have managed to evade both for several years now, and the empire’s growing more and more frustrated and has raised the bounty as a result. “kanan jarrus” doubles his efforts.

(within a matter of weeks, hera syndulla and her crew are gone; “kanan jarrus” has moved onto the next target. their ship is only a small part of the reward.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know how much sense this one makes but here you go have it *shrugs*


	13. Chapter 13

**xiii .**

 

caleb fixes ships, and when hers breaks down, he happens to be the closest (not many mechanics stay on lothal; there’s not much traffic there). he fixes it, and they exchange names; she leaves.

he thinks the name of the ship and its pilot the empire announces capturing several months later is familiar, but then again maybe not. after all, “ghost” is a common enough name for a ship, and “hera” is a common enough name for a girl. he thinks nothing of it, and returns to work.


	14. Chapter 14

**xiv .**

 

hera and kanan are explorers, this time. hera’s new to it, but kanan’s an old pro. he meets her at a cantina on the very edge of known space, where she’s come to try and get any information she can to make her journey through the unknown easier. he tells her to give up now, that it’s a lonely, lonely life, waking up only to realize you’re alone, aside from maybe an astromech barely held together by scraps, as you stare into the void, but admits that it is beautiful, if you look hard enough in the right places.

she takes his advice about loneliness, and leaves, likely to return to the core worlds.

he returns to the void.

(he doesn’t have an astromech.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's been a h0t minute but i wrote a bunch of these the other day so you guys hopefully shouldn't have to wait so long between updates anymore


	15. Chapter 15

**xv .**

 

they’re in daycare together on coruscant. caleb lives with his adopted mother and her adopted father, and they’re looking for passage off of the planet to keep him away from the empire’s prying eyes though he barely knows what the force means, and hera is with her mother on a “business trip”—really, it’s to meet more contacts for the rebellion she and her husband have been planning for several years to free ryloth.

caleb says something to hera, or maybe she says something to him—even their supervisors aren’t quite sure who started it—but  _ someone _ says  _ something, _ and five minutes later they have to be pulled apart, biting and yelling and kicking. their respective parents and guardians are called to pick them up, both depa and mrs. syndulla apologize profusely.

depa and mace have found passage offworld for the three of them, and hera’s mother finishes up her “work” quickly enough.

they don’t meet again for a long, long time, and memories made as a six-year-old don’t stick for long. and besides, the daughter of revolutionaries and one of the last free force-sensitive children have more things to worry about.

and when they do meet again, any interest beyond friendship is still the least of their concerns. (after all, their careful lives weren’t built in a day, but they can be destroyed in one.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a full AU of this coming...soon...hopefully...if I can actually keep myself on track with my other projects too....


	16. Chapter 16

**xvi .**

 

hera’s a healer, and caleb’s in the infirmary--again--after another too-close call with a black sun member in the lower levels. thankfully, this time he didn’t stab himself by accident with his lightsaber, too.

still, hera can’t help the slight smile that comes over her face as she takes his vitals and he tries to defend himself--”well, they shot first!” she goes to take his heart rate, tattooed-on brows shooting up in surprise at the number.

he glances over at it out of curiosity, face suddenly turning scarlet as he sees the number and catches her amused glance out of the corner of his eye. he stumbles up from the cot, mumbling something about checking on a non-existent padawan before he’s gone, and she shakes her head fondly.

(it’s obvious why his heart rate was so high, and though she thinks at the time that she will never admit it, she feels the same.)

(the council finds out about them a few months later, finds out about the kisses and the whispers exchanged in morning “meditation” sessions that are really just another excuse for them to talk before the rest of the temple is awake.)

(he accepts the blame, and leaves the order so that she can continue the work she loves, and take on one of the padawans they’d always talked about training together.)

(she doesn’t hear from him again.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're interested in being a beta reader for this and other projects i'm working on, check out this link please: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdq6LOqkYmbR7vTCNgPczL0tzGg3hNvFSCGrhf4cZPRdNZ5eA/viewform?usp=pp_url


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: Death of Parental Figure, Death of Parent

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have this angst because I felt like writing one that was very very VERY different from the others this time :)

**xvii .**

 

in this one, soulmates’ dreams are their match’s most traumatic memories, and hera has been dreaming of a human woman getting shot to death every night since she was eleven.

caleb, in turn, has been dreaming of a twi’lek woman standing at a distance in a cavern as a grenade rolls in before turning, meeting the eyes of whoever’s memory it is as the grenade goes off.

(they never meet, this time, and they’re almost sure they don’t want to. but a small part of them still wonders, will always wonder, what it would have been like to have someone _understand._ )

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy International Women's Day!!


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Implied/Referenced Death of Parental Figure, Implied/Referenced Murder/Execution

**xviii .**

 

hera’s the daughter of what’s essentially considered a king, off of ryloth at least, but all she knows is that she dislikes her father’s obsession with bringing peace to the rest of their system as well, by whatever means necessary—and if that means conquering the rest of it, then so be it.

caleb is just a boy, another war orphan from the endless battles, who could care less who lives or dies or wins or loses at this point (but he knows, deep down inside, that he couldn’t live with himself if the army who killed depa takes over their world, and then of course they do because he just _had_ to think that).

and then of _course_ he meets hera, and of _course_ she’s the most beautiful person she’s ever seen and also the kindest he’s met since depa died, and he knows he should hate her, knows he should like he knows he should kill her as some small amount of vengeance for depa’s death, but as the years pass and he finds himself kissing her instead of killing her, he realizes that he can’t.

(however, when cham finds them together, talking quietly on her balcony one night, caleb’s lucky to get a quick death.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been super long since I've updated sorry guys but if you like Kanera then check out my other fic, Hear the Falconer (it's basically just Kanera with a side of father-son bonding).


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt fill for “Soft” for Feelstember.
> 
> TW: Referenced Death of Parent

**xix .**

 

hera had always thought that human hair would be soft.

growing up and living on ryloth, she never had the chance to find out.  she avoided the imperials as much as possible, even when her father died and she was forced to take a job at the governor’s palace (calling it her childhood home only made the losses they’d all suffered hurt more) to gain intel.  she knew the shortcuts across the house, how to get away when their attention grew too much.

it was only when the war ended that she found the confirmation to her belief regarding human hair.

a group calling themselves the new republic had formed, she knew, and destroyed the empire.  within the new republic was another group, only with a different goal.

they called themselves the new jedi order.

she met kanan on a trip the new jedi order made to ryloth, supposedly to search for force-sensitives the empire had overlooked.  however, that wasn’t what kanan found.

she left ryloth.

he left the order.

(and yes, human hair  _ was _ soft.)


End file.
